(Cadet I am not sure if that is how I post the first thread of mine)
So we met with the counselor yesterday and he emphasized how we could work the marriage out if we wanted. He also said he would help with D recovery if we took that route. My W spoke a lot at the beginning about how she made the decision to file and he finally asked me what I wanted, if I still wanted to be married and I waited about 15 seconds before I answered and I just said "I don't really know. I know that I want to address some of the issues we have had, because throughout this whole process I realized we haven't even done that, and I know at some point we are going to have to address those issues, they won't just go away regardless of what we decide to do. I won't know if I still want to be married to her unless we address those issues first"
He spoke some more and then asked if we would be willing to come back for another session, he also asked my W to put the D filing on hold. My W quickly answered that she would be willing to come back but she didn't want to put D filing on hold since she already filed. She nonchalantly said obviously best case scenario is we can work things out and stay together but she wasn't going in with that mind set, she just wanted us to be able to communicate with each other regardless of what happens. She also said she is afraid I am going to take retaliation on any mediation with D because of what she has done and because I don't think she has given everything an honest effort. I THINK she is afraid of this because she knows she is the one who had the affair and her emotional health can be questioned because the guy was 20 years old.
It was then my turn to answer if I would be willing to come back and I waited another 15-20 seconds for dead silence before I answered and I just said yeah I would be willing to because I want to address the issues in a safe environment and they would have to be addressed at some point regardless.
I went to eat with friends after our counseling session and on my way home to get ready my W texted if she should get my D2 ready since she was going with me and I said no thanks, she responded with "I just meant her hair and stuff" and I just said oh, no thank you. I came home and she still had my D2 ready to go. My W asked a couple of questions about who I was going with and what we were doing and I made it short and simple, no details. I got home and she asked some quick questions about what we did. I asked her if she had plans with D2 for Saturday because I wanted to go to the zoo with her and my W asked if she could go and I just said that is fine.
whew...been a crazy 24 hours. I am just trying to be happy, GAL, and detach from W right now. I felt the counseling session went well.
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
