Day Two

[Lifes Twists]

We met up for another walk last night. She goes when she feels the kids won't find out. I feel that she does not want anyone in the family to know. I think there are family members on her side that would give her a hard time so she is keeping it quiet.

She started off the walk by saying that she feels that she has lost all her identity. Her identity as a wife and as a mother. The kids are getting older and are at the phase where they don't really want much to do with mom or dad. She said she feels like she did when we first met and that it not a place she thought she would ever be in again.

The conversation then turned towards menopause. I remember around bd when she told me not to blame this on menopause. Now that she is thru menopause she is starting to see the effects it has had on her.

She talked some more, I listened and tried to validate. I did challenge her once by asking her what she is going to do about it. I slipped up a bit there and she called me on it. Calling me on it was a new thing for her.

She emphasized that nothing of what she thought would happen as a result of the separation and divorce has worked out the way she thought it would. She has now stated this several times in our conversations.

Talk was mostly centered on her and her trying to figure things out. She said she is not happy. She said she feels that she really has a problem coveting what others have. I told her that she won't find happiness in having things or from other people. I told her that I have found happiness in the little things and actions that happen. That it has to come from inside.

She is definitely in a period of trying to figure out what just happened. The fog has seemed to lift. I wonder how long it takes before I can accept that it has lifted permanently? How long before I should feel that she has returned to reality?