DifRent's Journey - 27 days in, thread 2

[DifRent]

Mine too. Until I can't help but text things like that to her.

The thing is, I know the OW. I KNOW she isn't right for her in a million ways, except one, maybe two. One is temporary... she is completely stoking an ego that can't stand not to be stoked, and that an "old hat" like me simply cannot stoke. That will wear off in a few months. But...

She's completely financially stable, and if that's what my W is looking for because the lack of quick enough progress in our business precipitated all this, she will overlook the old, lonely, even dare I say ugly, needy woman who saw an opportunity to take advantage of a younger, vulnerable woman. My W will overlook the dirty house (she's her realtor, she knows EXACTLY how dirty it is), the many pets (she hates animals), the constant smothering plans... etc, etc. Honestly, I could lose her to a bank account.

And if I do? She wasn't ever right for me anyway. Who wants a partner with such a lack of depth?

But still... I never knew this would really be her. I don't believe this IS her.

One of her complaints is that I had "let myself go." Well... since the BD just under a month ago, I have dropped 20 of the 30 pounds I needed to lose (from a diet of green smoothies and wine, about all I can handle, and a renewed commitment to the gym), and she sure has noticed. It was clear today when she was looking at me. It's impossible not to. It was a good point, to be honest. I'm a health coach, for godsakes. I should never have gotten so complacent.

I need to get the other stuff in order, of course. But it's still a very long haul. I miss my W, but to be honest, I don't know where she is right now. This woman? She is someone else entirely.