WW wants to start mediation. To pick up a mediator, she called three and the only one that picked up the phone became her choice. I asked her to do a better screening. She just wrote back, a week later, saying that one gave her boilerplate info by email, another didn't pick up and she didn't have time to call the third. She asks me what I think.
What I think is that she didn't make any progress and she still thinks it's no big deal. She treats this the way she treats the whole S, including the impact on the kids: let's just get it done.
So, do I tell her that it's fine, she tried and we'll pick her choice? Do I tell her that her research this week didn't make a difference? Anyone had a bad experience with a bad mediator? The one thing I do NOT want to do is to take over the process. It's her D and I'm going along, protecting my interests and those of my kids. But I'm not doing the heavy lifting for her.
I have been at the mediator table TWICE ... lol. Both times so far pulled the Matrix and things never went through ... things change as it becomes SERIOUSLY real ... hang in there.
My perspective .. its like a fast food drive through .. they could care less about you, your goods, your family, kids ... its about that red light special deal they are running in package A, B, or C ... its all about them making money.
In my sitch ... I went to some website calculators for my state, plugged in what I made, what she made, the custody percentage and hit calculate. The 2nd mediation session went far further than the first. Going into that one I knew on paper and with a couple free consultations from lawyers what I was looking at .... that was FAR different from W's fairytale. Knowing where you stand .. huge. You can have a lawyer ... but the whole premise for mediation is to save costs, they gather the docs, your financials and figure out how to divide it up ... very Vegas-Wedding-ish.
My advice .. see if they have a free consultation, ours did .. you can get a better feel for what they are about .. if not .. I would say take the reins and find another yourself ... even thought you are against it you are not signing anything just yet. For my W ... me going through the process and not dragging my feet threw her off .. and the fact it became very real really turned my sitch.
