I am so sorry to hear about your sitch. I went through a very similar sitch with my H when we had been married about 18 years and felt the same emotions as you are feeling. It took some time to work through. It is painful and enlightening at the same time. You will find strength and wisdom you did not even know you had.
I would highly suggest that you listen to all of these amazing people and do the work of this program for yourself, not to get your H back but to make your life better and if he comes back as part of that new life,mthat's a bonus.
I'm not sure I did that correctly the first time and now I am working this program again. I have been married 31 years and have 2 adult children. The second time around has made me really have to look at my motives for making changes during our first crisis. What I did, I did to get my H back, not to make my life better. Now I am here again, separated with NC for 5 months. Not fun. But I can tell you, the hurt will lessen, you will cry less, you will start to enjoy life again, you will begin to obsess about your spouse less, you will start listening and trusting your inner voice more, and you will go on and be happy again. Not saying there won't be sad days, but the sad days will be less than the happy ones.
Someone recently posted the serenity prayer. It's my favorite. I say it every morning when I wake up.
One thing I did to try to help myself heal was to start a journal to document all of the things for which I am greatful.
Take care of yourself and your son. Let your H take care of himself. Like Cadet says, you did not break him, you cannot fix him. If it makes you feel better, say a prayer for him every day. I found a book of prayers by Marianne Williamson ( I think it's called Illuminata) that really helped me when I couldn't find my own words. It's very spiritual and not so "religiuos" not trying to force anything religiously specific. I used it the last time my H left me emotionally and I'm using it again during this time.
Let me know if you'd like to talk about specifics. It sounds like we are having very similar circumstances. I'm just on round 2.
