I did not have time to reply yesterday. But I did see your post and took your advice. I did not tell my W where I was going and the kids were curious but did not press further. Thanks for your timely response. I will use it going forward.
Originally Posted By: Fogg
Someone else will have to help you there, unfortunately. I'm horrible with boundaries but lucky that for the most part I haven't needed many. She will spew at you and see you as the enemy but some boundaries in your case are needed and are more important for her respecting you. Respect in this case trumps the enemy view.
Only thing I can say is make sure you really have a well thought out plan with them before you do anything. Messing up certain ones can cause more issues than not doing it at all.
I again pressed my L about the phone, because I would really like to institute that barrier. I asked why I need to keep the phone and monitor her usage. Her reply: "I do not know where the information will lead us at this point but, it may be relevant concerning your children. As such, even though you have the history, I would think to be able to show that the contact/conduct continues would be beneficial." I have heard this from another L as well. So it is helpful in D proceedings but detrimental to DB. I know that laying down the "I will not support your phone usage as long as you are using it to disrespect me by living in an open marriage" would send a clear signal. I am torn.
I had convo with W yesterday. details to follow...
