STBX was never a proper partner. He began withdrawing the first year we were married, when he decided he'd prefer not to engage in things that made him uncomfortable or that he wasn't inclined to do, like discuss finances or plan for the future (even future vacations!) or clean the house. He didn't want to be a partner or know how to be one. Do you have any idea how lonely and demoralizing it is to try to build a life with someone like that? He just went off and did his own thing with no thought or generosity from me except when I demanded it, and the more I demanded it the more he resented me. The more I needed to demand it the less I wanted to have sex with him and he resented me for that too.
I believe in marriage as much as you do. I don't think that being a wife means being someone else's life Sherpa. Now I am free to be happy and to actually build a real, meaningful life. And if it's a little heavy sometimes then I'm free to choose whether to build the strength to carry the load or to choose to lay something down. All things considered, yes, basically I lost a guy and the trappings of married life. I've gained a lot, lot more.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
