This is my opinion - please someone come in and add more.
I believe your thinking here is not from the right perspective. The changes that you are making are not for him - they are for you. Your marriage as you know it is already over; he already fired you from that role. So our strategy here is to take what we've learned from marriage v1.0 to grow ourselves, to become the best versions of Matt777 and teach3 and everyone else that we can be. We've learned so much from the problems of the first marriage that we have so much insight into what we'd like to improve about ourselves. NOW is the time to do that. Unfortunately, it's not so simple as turning a switch - it takes time to ACTUALLY make these changes. I would expect the journey that he has set you both on to take months of not years (not to say that your actions and interactions today will be the same as a year from now - but that this is a long, slow, evolving process).
Now, as for him not noticing, THATS OK. If he sees you every day, he won't notice the changes anyway. Do you notice your grass growing when you watch it? What if you go on a 3 week vacation?
You have time now. Use it wisely! Make your changes. Then, when he does look at you again, the changes will be so clear.
Honestly, even if he never looks back (which is unlikely), you will have still turned into the best you that you can be. Just keep the focus on you and you'll come out ahead.
