Let's say it could be a quick fight and soon she would be home and there would be peace and love all the way.
Well, it did not happen that way. This is serious stuff and it is time to take it very serious too.
First, do you believe that this program can help you?
Do you believe that this program will help you independent of W coming back or not?
I know you want HOPE, and I know what you have now is FEAR. This fear is letting her to control the situation. This fear is betraying you and making you to make many mistakes.
I'm worried it's divorce, although she explicitly said if she was going to file she would do it regardless of where I am.
Did you read the Sandy's 37 rules? Stop worrying about what she might do, what control can you have over her decision of filing or not?
If you worry, then it will just drive you crazy, insane. It won't help your cause it will actually make it worse because your W can probably feel you are miserable.
Did you read DB and DR? If so, what going cheeseless tunnels means to you? Because from outside it seems that you enjoy looking for the cheese and running in many directions without knowing where is the cheese.
Us not talking as much is weird. And I miss it a lot. I'm scared she's trying to detach and forget me, though she has said she misses things about Texas and what not. But I worry and wonder why we don't talk as much now. Maybe I'm making it a bigger deal than it is, but I can't wait to go home, even if it is to an empty house.[/quote] [quote][/quote]
Stop this insanity T, you can't control her actions, her decisions, you can only control you.
Stop answering her texts every day. Maybe start with a hours apart, then you can move on to a full day without any contact.
You will feel that you are pushing her away, but you will be doing the exactly opposite.
She is telling you that she wants her space, her own time and her own success. Listen to what she is asking you.
You need to start detaching for real. You need to let go on the fear every day a little bit. It's very hard for all of us and it will be the hardest thing you ever did. But you have not much a choice right now. So use this time to grow as a person, change into the person only a fool would leave.
Please, please, please, stop talking about R, M. If she says something about it, then you say you are sorry she feels this way and change the subject.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start fighting for your M. No one can say you have a chance and no one can say you don't. But if you keep doing what you are doing then you may risk that she will just go away faster.
Think about T, when you came to this forum, you did not think that it would offer you a magic recipe to just put your M together in a short time?
It can just teach you to be more independent, learn how to be a better you, how to take this time to learn about things that you can improve in yourself.
There is no guarantees that you W will ever came back, but you have a chance to be a better person for yourself and be the person she will fall in lover all over again.
Think about and start writing your ideas here. We can storm those ideas and we can try to help.
Another big thing is to GAL, it is a must. You need to do something that you like and it will help you to detach more and more.
Keep strong T, you may lost one battle , but you are fighting to win the war.
There is a lot of work to do T, are you ready? Keep posting, I will ask around the board for others to post on here.
