Lisa, I don't have any magic forgive and forget. In six weeks it will be two years since I learned about OW who also knew STBX was married with three kids and still went after him -- I think, using him till she transitioned from intern to paid staff -- and then she dropped him for someone more appropriate. I cycle between wanting to beat her to a pulp and not caring about her at all. And I too am happier... Or at least, anticipating a better quality of life, now that I'm not tied to someone who treated me like a Sherpa/concierge/appliance.
I really feel for you that you're going to be encountering her through the foreseeable future. I personally don't think I could manage that without generating at least one epic, soul-satisfying, feel-the-shame-later scene. But I think you're going to find as time passes that she falls away from your circle. Because you are awesome now and she is not and its going to be like a centrifuge, or oil and water. The quality people will stay in your life. The ...I can't think of a nice, poetic term that will pass the censors, so we'll just say, less quality people... will mingle with their own kind. And that is how Time will deal with that insult.
One more thing. Like you, I've looked back on my life and I see places when I was very young and very stupid where I did harm that I WISH I could take back. I'm heartily sorry for a few things I've done, some intentionally, some not. I WISH I could make amends some way and I hope that the lesson I've learned from all this at least somewhat balances my karmic score. I hope I never perpetrated this great an injury on anyone.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
