Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=dejavu2]--I have no clue whether my H will "rise to occasion" or not either.

Do you have an internal timeline or deadline in mind, for making your own decision?

That can help a lot so that you know the limbo won't be eternal NOR is it all within his exclusive control, bc you'd be choosing for yourself. Knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, one way or another, can be a comfort.

What if your h does not ever do what you need him to do?

Would you prefer staying in the situation as it is, over a divorce?, if those were your only options?

I ask that b/c your h may never take initiative to substantially change & improve himself

AND OR to divorce you. I mean, what is HIS motivation for change?

Why wouldn't he keep things as they are? What is his "pay off" for divorce, versus remaining status quo?

Inertia often gets under rated for the powerful force it can be...it's that very complacency that often gets us where we are. Complacency is so subversive to marriages...


Yes, I have gone thru other periods of emotional enlightenment - they are painful times, but there is a peace at the end of the process. I just keep hoping that I have packed that box away for the last time, only to have to dig thru it again years later.

I had a great conversation with eldest D today about what is going on. She has been angry about H. I told her that the greatest personal growth seems to be a result of emotional challenges. We don't tend to grow during the good times.


True, and unfortunate and ironic. I sure wish God (or life or the universe, or whatever) would test me with a really good thing, you know, as a test to see if I become a jerk... like winning the lottery...

"I promise to share!!"



Don't regret you had the challenge, look to learn your lesson and enjoy the next chapter.

I believe I'm a better, more loving woman b/c of this ordeal. Hard to know, but I'm definitely more self aware.

The DB folks I've stayed in touch with all seem changed, and for the better.
That's worth a lot.

Becoming the very best version of ourselves that we can be (self actualization) by digging deep and doing really hard work, is probably THE achievement of our life.

If we do all that^^, then I think we have to let the marital cards fall where they will, and walk away with our heads held high, at peace.


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