first post; my story

[Kembo05]

I don't "think" so. She emailed him 3 weeks ago and that was last I heard of it. She met with our counselor last week and said he wasn't in the picture anymore

[NDY]

I don't "think" so. She emailed him 3 weeks ago and that was last I heard of it. She met with our counselor last week and said he wasn't in the picture anymore

I think you need a vet here. Starsky is good with this type of thing RE transparency agreements etc.

[Kembo05]

She is transparent now, at least to my knowledge. I have access to all of her accounts. She is definitely WW but I would like to think OM is out of picture; I think she still has feelings for him, but I think their relationship is over...who knows though.

She said she was going through with filing for D, but she also admitted that doesn't mean its over. It's amazing that makes sense to her. We meet with our counselor tomorrow so it will be real interesting to see how that goes.

[NDY]

I hope you are right. But if you are able you should ask one of the vets about this. It's for your own benefit.

[Kembo05]

Anyone know how long filing for divorce takes? W said she met with lawyer and started the paperwork. I asked why she didn't file and W said the lawyer didn't have time to process everything.

I'm curious if she is using this as a threat/scare tactic or if she really plans on doing it. I am moving forward like she is going to really go through with filing for D

[Fogg]

Filing can happen very quickly, maybe a few hours to a couple of days. It could take more than one afternoon depending on how much they wanted to discuss and get things straight. She could do it all in one day if needed, but taking time to make sure everything is where she wants it makes more sense.

With kids there is alot to go through. When my W was using an online program to do it she spent maybe 4-5 hours total to go through it step by step. We don't have much to split up either. With a lawyer advising that could go faster or slower.

[Wonka]

Kembo,

You really need to STFU for real about asking W questions about filing or not filing for D. It DOES NOT matter what she does or does not do. You have a FULL and rich life waiting for you to grab it by the horns.

For real, you have to STOP bringing up the M or divorce to W.

[Cadet]

Kembo,

You really need to STFU for real about asking W questions about filing or not filing for D. It DOES NOT matter what she does or does not do. You have a FULL and rich life waiting for you to grab it by the horns.

For real, you have to STOP bringing up the M or divorce to W.

Of course that is if you are still trying to save your marriage/relationship.

If you want to be divorced then just keep doing the same thing.

[Kembo05]

Thanks Wonka. I asked her yesterday because I just needed to know if she took that step. I also needed to know so I could make sure I spoke with a lawyer to cover my bases. I wasn't planning on asking any more questions about it.

I definitely want it to work out. I'm just kind of scrambling at this point. This forum has been great, but I really need the DR book for some guidance. I appreciate everyone's help

[sandi2]

She said she was going through with filing for D, but she also admitted that doesn't mean its over. It's amazing that makes sense to her. We meet with our counselor tomorrow so it will be real interesting to see how that goes.

She believes she really has you wrapped around her little finger. She can play bounce the ball back & forth as long as she wants. IMO, you need to let it be known to her (probably during the counseling session)that you won't do it this way. IOW, tell her that if she files for D, you will take it to mean that she's not interested in being M to you....and you will be moving on with a new life. (This is what she should think about before making those type of decisions.)

In the meantime, stop the questions. Did you go see a lawyer after asking her about filing?