I understand your disappointment with me. I know my life is pretty crazy. I don't know exactly why I have decided this path, I feel like it did happen this way.
I have been working a lot lately and I am just leaving the office to get some lunch for the kids. But I want to write at least a resume of that part of my life.
Why now? Because I am changing, because I am learning to let go, to stop controlling other people lives. Because I think it is the right thing to do for my son and for his father, and I am the person to make it happen.
Because I want to let go on it all. I need to finish the work of raising my kids until they walk on their own. I need to let go on S21 & father and help them to have a R, I need to let go my H and let him be happy on his own life. About me, I don't really know right now. I just want some peace and quiet and I want to be free of all this life nightmares. I feel I can get that if I keep myself on my own for awhile.
Later, and yes, it has been too many mistakes, too many soul wounds, too much complication. It is time to let go on it all and stop trying.
