You are still there and still fighting. That shows strength not weakness.
I think you have been doing well with pma and GAL activities. Keep going but as someone suggested earlier maybe exclude your wife from some activities. idk.
It is tough to keep chipping away, but it can be done. I too wish it was behind me, but I am not yet the person I want to be. When I am and if that is not enough it won't matter as I will be who I want to be. Until then I hope to make the best of the gift of time.
This is going to take longer than any of us want. But it will be worth it.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together