I had a realization today about the WAS spouse. And their anger. I started thinking about previous break up, where I had fallen out of love, gotten frustrated, and ended things.
I was also hurting, and angry. Certainly I had loved these people. I was angry at them for behaviors decisions, actions, that either upset me, or did not meet my needs. Why didn't they care about me.
It is the same with my STBX. He felt his emotional needs were not being met. He felt I could not listen to him the way he wanted to be listened to. But I was not a good caretaker for him.
None of that is invalid, just because he is driving and caring for himself just fine now. It is not invalid because he was abusive. It is simply what he came to believe about me, and there were Times I am sure that I gave him good reason.
Still, I do not think I could ever forgive him for the way he treated me and how he became in the end. I do not want to see him ever again.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
