There was something that held me back from sending the email. I have not initiated contact since last October so to come this far and fall now would make me disappointed with myself - I know I would regret it as soon as I contacted him.
One thing is for sure - I am not ready for him to mess with my head and remain cool; just look at the spin I am in with just a phone call!
I know it's a process, its speed bumps that I have to negotiate as safely as possible to keep me intact.
I am still GAL - I finish work at 10pm Saturday and then going to a party (new work friend), my sx18 is sober driver for his friends that night so is going to pick me up so I can have a few drinks. Its the first thing I have been too since coming back to NZ so I am looking forward to it (albeit a bit late for me - I have impressed sx18 though ha ha).
