Some of the largest problems I've read on here is the interference by "helpful" friends and family. You can always thank them politely for the advice and then move on. I have had to do this many times myself. They mean well but don't necessarily understand your unique situation.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Well we had NC so that was good but I'm still crying when I get home. I guess it's normal. Everyone is in my ear to go talk to a L. I know they are afraid for me but I just can't do it right now.
It doesn't hurt to have an initial consultation so that you can understand your rights as a parent - understanding the custodial and financial ramifications of a divorce can make it less scary since its not so unknown.
But from what I understand, you don't gain anything by winning a race to file. You don't WANT it to come to divorce, right? So I wouldn't go hiring someone to start drafting stuff up.
As for the crying and such, this is an emotional time. It's ok to feel the things that come. There's an extreme sense of loss. Of course you're going to feel sad! The key is learning to deal with your thoughts and start to be able to turn them down so that they are shorter and/or less intense. That comes with time as well as mental focus. That also comes with losing the fear.
Have a good night and an even better day tomorrow.
Thank you and your right. It's about turning down the noise in my own head. Today is the second day with NC. I have always been the one to reach out so this feels totally unnatural but at least my emotions are a little more under control.
Hi Teach, I can't tell you how many nights I say goodnight cheerily to my H and then go upstairs to cry into my pillow. Give yourself permission to grieve for your marriage. You will never have the same marriage again. The goal is to have a stronger, better marriage at the end, but you will still miss your old marriage right now and that's okay.
You have already shown some growth on here, and you will only grow stronger with time!
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
First of all, let me congratulate you on being a cancer survivor! You are a survivor and that is an amazing attribute. Congratulations!
I am sorry for the situation you are in. The best advice I can give you is to speak with a Divorce Busting Coach today. There is much that can be done. Divorce Busting coaches will give you the best guidance on how to save your marriage and get things moving in a more positive direction.
A Divorce Busting Coach can also help you navigate conversations regarding your son and what the best course of action is with well meaning friends and family. You mentioned in an earlier post that you were wanting to speak with a coach and I would be happy to get you scheduled to speak with a wonderful Divorce Busting Coach. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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Day 2 NC. I didn't cry at work or dwell on him not wearing his ring. You so right, my goal is for us to have a better marriage, but he is so hard headed sometimes. I just pray that we get the chance.
Day 2 NC. I didn't cry at work or dwell on him not wearing his ring. You so right, my goal is for us to have a better marriage, but he is so hard headed sometimes. I just pray that we get the chance.
One day at a time. You can do it. It does start to get easier! There's always the hope that you'll get a chance, but if and when that day comes, you can't be the same person you were - so use this time wisely!
I'm trying to change but if he isn't around to see it....how will he know? This the 3rd day for NC. That's a huge change for me. I'm trying to focus on my job and son but my mind is wandering this morning.
