Advice Welcome, separating and W moving out soon..

[jedi]

Journaling for today, nothing really new to report. W initiated a brief txt exchange yesterday around some things to return to me. I asked her how things were going and kept it light and friendly. Back to NC today, and for the foreseeable future as the items she has are of no urgency at this point. Thankfully the week has flown by, and I have some plans this weekend with friends so it should be enjoyable as well.

One thing that hit me tonight is that I've been going about this GAL thing all wrong. Initially, I took it to mean get out, do things, enjoy life but for me it was always more in an effort to not sit around mull over the situation. Distraction would be a good way to phrase how I interpreted it.

Now, what I think everyone really means by GAL is to go out and find something I truly enjoy, something where I'm so into it that thoughts of W or the situation naturally don't even occur. Exercise is a good example; for me initially it was a way to just get through an hour of my day. I now am seeing some results, I feel better in general, and have begun to genuinely look forward to it. I also don't seem think much about things anymore while I'm in that zone. This is approximately 2 months into really getting serious about exercising daily.

I guess my posting about this is more for anyone new who may happen to read this - this is truly a marathon and not a sprint. And for me, that sentiment is no longer solely about DB or my M/R at this point, but extends much further into my own personal journey of working on me and making changes for me.

All that said, it's of course still hard. The first person I want to share with when I have revelations like this is my W. But I keep on keeping on, and perhaps someday I will get to share all of these things with her under different circumstances.