Detachment is an ATTITUDE, Defacto. Everything that T and others have advised you above is really just an overall demeanor and attitude that you have to put on like a suit. Once you get there, the strategy will flow from the attitude, and the tactics that you ask so much about will flow from the strategy.
Change your FOCUS. Put it on YOU and YOUR KIDS, and on DOING THE RIGHT THING in every situation. The rest will start to come naturally to you, I promise.
Stop trying to get a reaction out of your wife. LEAVE HER BE.
