I agree w/Lifes Twists. Reconnection takes a of time and effort, as well as patience. She's not going to suddenly wake up and understand why she did the things she did or focus on the destruction that she created. Just as she slowly went into crisis, the same will happen w/her re-entering the real world. She will do things the exact opposite of what she did going into crisis. She's going to need a lot of space, time and patience. You can't rush the process now.
Reconnection is the hardest part of the journey because the spouses and/or former spouses begin to see them waking up and yes, they want to hurry up and rush the process. If you attempt to do so, they will shy away and up the tunnel they go for a bit. The best thing to do is be a friend, listen to what she has to say and do not offer up a lot of advice or point out things she's said or done while in crisis. You will have an opportunity a bit later on to have discussions w/her about that time in orbit. For now, patience, patience and more patience.
Hang in there and know that every thing you are doing is on target, but you are going to have to dig deeper for patience.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
