Morning yet again and it feels hopeless. Sun is shining outside and all I can think of is the upcoming summer when I'm going to be without him. I feel like I want to go to our picnic spot and just cry all day long.
Hopefully today my DB book, found it online, will arrive. I know this has to be viewed as a marathon and not a sprint. But I'm hurting and it feels like I'm waiting for something that won't ever come true.
Today is the first day I can run again, really need it. Next week I'm seeing my therapist again. Trying to count down until then so as not give up totally until then.
This hurts so bad, again. I think I'm not going to be one of those with a happy ever after, I haven't been in previous R, and not in this one that I really thought had the qualities to go the distance. Makes me just want to give up.
Ok, needed to vent.
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5
