Originally Posted By: Wonka
V,

I am going to go a bit further and ask some difficult questions here.

-Do you want to remain/be married to H?

No Wonka. My papers are ready to file. However I still stand for my M and the vows I made.

-Do you want to expend the energy in DBing H?

Wonka, you know I love you dearly. I am DBing myself and standing for my M. For me personally, it has been about my recovery and that journey has only just begun.

So will I expend the energy? absolutely.


In the same way I will continue my GAManon meetings : I am V and my ex H is a compulsive gambler, this is part of my story. I will pay it forward.

Will I love H? absolutely I will, and I hope he will be happy and resolve his issues. It will take more than me DBing this H to do this though. That is OK too.

-With 20/20 hindsight now, has some of the character flaws remained unchanged in all of the years you've been married to H?

H appeared to change the moment we married. Within 3 months he had given up work and received a payoff. That's when his behaviour deteriorated very quickly. Whether that is as a result of his life sitch, his personality or his compulsions is for him to know. I have learned that whatever the cause is, and that bridge is crossed and burned, is irrelevant. I will live a life free of abuse, and frankly if H behaves this way towards someone he claims to love, then it's a pretty poor show. This fat lady has sung "I will not be abused, that is my boundary, you have breached that boundary repeatedly even though it is enforced. Now leave".

-What are your core values as Vanilla, not as the wife of HName?

My core values are simple enough, to be guided by my higher power and to live as spiritually and with love as only I can, one day at a time. To be serene in my 12 steps. I also will take better care of my physical needs, I was granted a beautiful healthy body and mind and it is within my gift to take extreme care of it.

What do you truly want in the second act of your life?

Love, to love and be loved.



Thats generous Wonka, I am moving into my fourth act! I plan to stabilise my Fins and be with my friends and family for a long time.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 05/27/15 01:53 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW