Originally Posted By: Wonka
Vanilla,

You would want to try to take an objective view of your sitch.

-Is this person I would want to be friends with...nevermind being in an intimate R with as in a M?

Absolutely not. Frankly as I was so inexperienced in this type of R, I feel deliberately misled. H is a compulsive gambler and I was taken for a ride. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. There is no redemption here and no future R possible as there will never be any trust. As H revealed his true colours and lost control (thank you DB) then he became increasingly verbally abusive.

-Does this person treat me with respect?

No. I will not drop to his low standards in this as best that I can.
I have made the decision that I will treat everyone including H with dignity and respect.

-Does this person support me and put me as the #1 priority?

No he does not, and in truth I believe H should be more self centred and less selfish. Although for a long time he pretended to. I have asked myself if I supported H and treated him as my number one priority. The answer is yes, until the damage got too great and in the end doing so was really unhealthy for both H and I. I am sure that H presents me as the 'bad guy' in all this and that is his choice. His life and I would love him to recover, but it is up to him to do that for himself.




Wonka, I am truly frightened by H and his rants. H is an aggressive and controlling man who has lost control. His brand of control is unpleasant and abusive to me. I do not like his behaviour at all and it makes me anxious. I am detached from him but not the irrationality.

H rang my office today and quizzed my contractors about the BBQ over the weekend. A weekend of GAL for me for my birthday. H asked some detailed questions of them and they were concerned by the nature of them.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 05/27/15 01:20 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW