I think I am grown.... I hope so... Little Engine that Could.... I think I can... I think I can...
I feel that the "Walmart Incident" was supposed to happen. I have felt some real growth from that.
I'm glad it happened, bc it brought such clarity to me. I was able to have an interaction with xh. Wow. That was... something!
As job mentioned on bright's post about "Psychopath Free" it just happened that I came across this info last week. Wow. I've got two I'm dealing with. I mean... really.
But, perhaps, last week was a send off of sorts to part of the old Mighty.
I don't find it necessary again.
They are so low, pathetic, selfish... and I TRULY want NOTHING to do with them.
She feeds off the drama. Loves it. I do not want to be a source of that for her. As long as they keep their focus of loathing on me... they will never look at themselves. and they will feel justified in doing so.
I get it, uR. I knew it logically. But, you know me... logically and emotionally don't always run parallel.
I mean... I really get it... and FEEL it now too.
I wouldn't have truly gotten it had it not happened.
I can move on, and that's exactly what I plan on doing. I am working on getting over my fears.
Accepting EVERYTHING! It will take me a little while. But, it seems more obtainable now. For a long time, I just didn't know how to even do it, or even, where to begin.
I feel a little more settled. Lots still happening inside, but I just feel stronger.
She may think she "won." She may think that she shut me down. I honestly do not care. At all. I want to just laugh at her. I wish I could have walked over to xh at the game and laughed about it and carried on.
I wasn't there yet.
But, I think I am so much closer to it now.
Some "setbacks" end up being step-ups!
And, I say that may be a kiss off to the old Mighty, bc if I can carry on like nothing now when dealing with them... I don't think anything will send me to that place again.
Still dealing with other life issues. Don't know if I shared my breaks went last week on my way to d14 game. Squeaking as I was driving like crazy.
Today on my way, the under part of my bumper started dragging down the highway. I had to turn around and go back home.
And it's only 2 years old.
Paid a contractor $$$ to work on kitchen. He worked a week and it ran out. Gulp. Still no sink. Electrical, insulation, dry wall. Done! Yes!
But, I still need the rest....
Hey, look... it has been a tough road. Everyday has been a challenge. Not complaining. But, it has enabled me to appreciate very minute things... like peace. The lawnmower starting. Sunshine. Smiling kids. A great meal. A compliment. Laughter.
Just to name a few.
Gotta go pick up d14... just got back from the game.
