We are over, now what?

[Tulo]

Thank you all so much! I'm very proud that I made it and have already entered my next one. It's in 109 days so I have a few days of rest and then it's out for a new run again. I have realised that I need it, something to focus on (even though I'm doing a lousy job of it when I'm thinking of ex) and to look forward to.

I actually have done another back-track-move during my weekend after my run was over. I'm big on sending cards and when I was so happy afterwards and felt victorious I sent a few cards to my closes friend thanking them for cheering me on the road towards my run. So I sent one to ex too. I know he always liked me sending him cards, and I felt if this is the last thing we have contact over, I want to go out with thanking him for his support.

So I chose a picture of one of the huge bridges that are part of the race and wrote : "Hey you! I made it and are so incredibly happy. Thanks for all the support and pep talks along the way. It has been worth GOLD to me! Hug! /M

The gold reference is something we say in Sweden if something has meant a lot but I have also always had a special nick-name for him that doesn't really translate but is more or less "golden-Carl" and everyone knows it and among other things gave him the perfume bottle that is made like a gold bar. So gold has always been a thing between him and I.

I didn't know if he would react to the card, was totally prepared for silence but yesterday he sent back "Thanks for the card. I think you are fantastic, what an achievement! Now you just have to recharge for the next one. I'm sure that it will go even better now that you've got the momentum going! Hugs!"

I just sent a happy text back saying that I hope so and that I have 110 days to go. I was very weary not to send anything he needed to reply to. But he sent a reply anyway so we texted back and forth a few times and when I had fallen asleep I got a text saying that he's looking forward to see how I do on my next half marathon and for me to sleep well, hugs. Sent a text saying sleep tight and fell asleep pretty happy.

Still I know that I can't have any expectations. This can only be him wanting to be friends. I will wait for him to contact me now, and I hope hope hope that he does. Until that I'm going to try to GAL as best I can. But it's so hard guys.

I have a question. We still have each others keys. And I know that if/when he asks for his back, I will be devastated. And even if I know this, I can't seem to work through this so that won't happen.. So do you think I should ask for us to exchange keys? Is that a sign of detachment on my part, that could be a 180 move?

Do you think he can react badly to this? What would you have done? I know this isn't up there with saving kids and houses and stuff, and I'm very aware of some of you stitches that are so hard, much harder than leave key or not, but would still be very grateful for any thoughts you might have.

Sending you all my very very best!
Hugs!