Why do you think you failed DB? DB is for you, not to win your wife back.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on that DB path. We all make mistakes, i.e., one step forward, two steps back. Focus on YOU and what YOU can do to make yourself a better person, a more happier and contented person.
I was in a dark place and I went and asked a mentor for some advice. I apprised him of the situation and he said that he was sorry.
I told him how much I resented that someone could get away from all this, that she will benefit financially, and that maybe I should start to play hardball legally.
He then said to me,
TB, you've already won the high road. Sure, she can take away some assets, but the law is straightforward already. She can't take away your earning potential. In the end, look back in a years time and ask yourself if you are proud how you behaved. Or are you going to look back at all the mud you slung and the damage to the kids and the mother of your children.
You've already won.
His talk lifted me out of my hole as everything he said was true. I have won. At the end of the day, morally, she is the one who bears that burden and I can pride myself that I did the right thing.
Your mentor is very wise and the advice is spot on. You want to take the high road so that you can look back and say I gave it my all and I fought for my marriage w/dignity. You can hold your head up high, back straight and look at each and every person in the eyes. You don't have to remember what stories you've told to whom and you aren't looking over your shoulder each and every day wondering if someone is going to call attention to the actions that you have taken.
By taking the high road, you can sleep better at night and be proud of the person that you have become and know that you are far wiser than pre-crisis and now can go forth and share your wisdom w/others that cross your path.
You are the prize!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
