yes, absolutely. ANY ssri can have that effect, but the different one's affect different people differently. "zoloft" might be bad for one person, but no problem for another. Its basically a trial and error thing to find the right one. But the hard thing is that the docs are only concerned with the immediate issue, which is depression. if they don't hear you complain, they're not going to do anything to change the situation. you have to get after them.

One of the newer ssri's is alleged to have "less" of this effect...its called "celexa". I say "alleged", because W was on it, and it had the same libido killing effect that all the others had. Its only a tiny factor in our situation, though. She's been off it for quite some time, w/ no change in libido. so...there you have it.

I was LOL at newlywed's w's suggestion of starting on one of these meds for the expressed purpose of killing his libido...I've actually thought of doing the same thing, logical soul that I am. There's no such thing as a pill to increase libido...but there is one that'll kill one. and its really not the specific frequency of sexual relations that causes the problem; its the disparity between individuals. If neither wants sex, and neither cares..."no problem". right?

Just like "newlywed"...my honeymoon was no "honeymoon" in the nookie department, either. as the others have said, we all know how you feel. get her to read the book. I don't know what it is about it, but for the first time in 15+ years, I think it actually got through to my W just how bad the problem is. I don't think that the LD's "get" it. "yeah, I want sex. I also want a porche and a lear jet, and a body like Arnold. not getting those either." know what I mean? Well, its NOT like those other silly material things. and the pain is profound. But simply saying "I'm unhappy because I don't have this" just doesn't get the message through. but somehow, the book seems to explain it in a way that they can understand. Maybe because its written by a woman, they give it more credence? I don't know...its not like it solved all our problems, but I do sense that she now acknowledges the gravity of the situation. its a start...and that's a good feeling. I even showed her a couple of posts from this site...there's just so many, like yours, newlywed, where you can just cut the despair with a knife. I think that helped drive the point home, too.

good luck

-Chuck