The Journey Continues: Wayward Wife & LRT (4)

[Defacto]

So, STBX called while I was driving home and I figured it probably would be smart to answer from a scheduling standpoint. Early on, I tried to dictate the conversation by keeping the focus on the kids. We worked out the pick up and drop off plans for the next two days for the kids.

(The details below may be out of order as I'm trying to get all the details in.)

STEX then asked me why I don't return her text messages anymore. I responded by saying that when I saw them it was too late too reply.
She then started saying how her feelings were hurt because a handful of my friends stopped following her on Instagram. I've validated her and told her I understand how her feelings would be hurt. STBX then said that she assumed that this took place because I had to be spreading rumors about her. I responded by saying "Listen, I don't really talk to these people all that much. And when we talk, I don't talk about our relationship. I try to keep things light and social."

STBX then says that it feels like her and I aren't friends anymore either.
I reply that there are no winners in this type of situation. She then says how her friends who have gone through this before told her to expect to lose half of her friends in a D. And that her lawyer/therapist told her that she would be a stronger person after going through this.

STBX then began to talk about how she doesn't feel it's fair to be losing friends because they don't know the details of our marriage. She said that she just wanted a H who was crazy about her. She talked about this a little longer and also talked about how she felt that she told me how unhappy she was all the time. I said that she has valid reasons for being unhappy in our marriage. I say again that if I had it to do all over again I would do a lot of things differently.

STBX reminds me of how I knew she was abused when she was younger and then brings up her solitary allegation of marital rape again.

STBX then said that she had hoped I would cheat on her to give her an excuse to end the relationship.

Again, I did a lot of validating and let her do most of the talking.

She said that I would never be able to put up with all her "flakiness" and that she would never be able to put up with my nuances. She kept reiterating how she just wanted someone who is crazy about her like it was in the beginning of our relationship.

In response I said that I just want to say one thing and then I need to get back to driving. I told her to remember that feelings and emotions can change over time with a little bit of effort. (I know this last part is probably pursuing but I felt like she wouldn't hear this truth from any other source right now.)

I then change the conversation back to the kids, the drop off this evening and I said I'd see her tonight

I know this is mind reading, but it seems like STBX is spending a lot of time comparing the limerance, the euphoria of falling in love with OM, to any and every flaw with me and our marriage. And I'm also a little confused as to why she wanted to talk about all this again. She has told me all of this before. Why again and why now?

I really wasn't ready for this type of call but I tried my best. I was kind of thrown for a loop by it all. The call lasted around 15 minutes, a little longer than I preferred. However, I thought it best to let STBX talk about the MR if she was wanting to. I spent most of the time just listening.

Did I do okay?