This morning has been so hard.I just want him to talk to me. Right now he will only answer text about our son or finances.
I don't understand how he can be so cold. How do you stop talking to someone you have been in love with 28 years, over night?
He has said we are not divorcing, but I don't understand what he is thinking. Does he expect me to stay in limbo forever?
I read somewhere yesterday that 79% of separated couples divorce. I hate statistics. I learned from going through cancer to look at the flip side...so 21% percent reconcile.
I just want hope and he won't even give me a crumb.
Hello teach - I want to start by saying you are not alone. There's 200+ some threads on here in the last month all with a similar story. As Eirinn said, there is no better place to talk about your troubles, your pains, your hopes, your goals, etc.
So I get what you're feeling. When my wife dropped the bomb on me, I cried too. Like all the time. Afret I few days, I realized that I was still alive. I was still a functioning father of two wonderful girls with a good job and a nice house. I realized that I can SURVIVE by myself without my W. I realized that while I don't want to divorce my W, I don't NEED the M.
With that knowledge in mind, I set to work on me. Slowly, I've been detaching and unwinding myself from my W. I've gone out with friends, gone to meetup groups to meet new friends, and spent more time with my family. Ive started doing my 180s - being more positive, doing more housework, spending higher quality time with my girls, etc. and you know what, I'm finding that I miss the companionship, I miss the closeness, I miss the partnership of having my W. But I'm also so much happier with myself than I was when we were together. I have a lot of work to do still, but I can feel myself turning into the 2.0 version of myself.
Ok. so. What's my point? Take the advice in the welcome thread seriously. They really are the key to getting through this. Read the rules - they aren't a trick for getting your H back. They are a way of getting your self-worth back. Start to detach. Start to lead your life for you.
