dejavu 2 - don't let anyone make you feel like you should not be here. We are all in the same boat - our s have left us and we are looking for support, advice and answers. I dont think it matters which forum you are on, as long as you are getting those things and are benefitting from it.
I really identify with what you are saying that this process has changed you and developed you to have a better understanding of your own issues - its a hard process that if we face head on it can change our lives for the better, you sound like you have really made the most of it. I commend you.
Only your h knows what is going on in his head, they become cryptic and do not give us enough clues to work it out - just focus on you for now, when your h is ready he will make his intentions clear I am sure.
