Hey depress... I'm new here, only three weeks since the bomb drop. There's been a pit in my stomach every morning, and a few days I just had to lay there in bed for a few hours because I didn't have the strength or the will to do anything at all. I spent last night away from the house... I know it unnerved my WW, who got home a little before midnight after a party and movie with the OW. She expects me to be around and be her comfort, and in her bed, even as she does what she pleases.

But it was good to get out of that environment and clear my head a little. I feel okay so far this early morning... as I'm really thinking about me and what I need to do for myself going forward. It helps too to think about all the things about my WW that I won't miss if we never piece things back together: her constant need for attention, her neediness, her incessant talk of money and real estate... things I had allowed and even allowed to define me, in a way. We have been doing the real estate business together, but to be honest, I don't like it! For me, it's been a means to an end - for her, it's almost like an obsession.

And now she has this other obsession - and I see how she can get so totally absorbed in something (a career, an affair) that isn't healthy. She needs help and prayer, and I'm working to shift my view of her from wanting her to come back to me as my wife, to someone I love unconditionally but with necessary detachment and boundaries right now. To be honest, I am not very hopeful that we will reconcile. But I feel I have to give it all I have, because I made a commitment to her, and to us. And so, I am her biggest prayer warrior right now - praying for her to stop being so self-destructive, not praying for any particular outcome for our situation. I think that's just how I need to approach things going forward.

Hope you keep posting and listening to the very wise people on these boards.

Me: 46 Her: 41
M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18
3/26 W and I meet OW
BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring
W goes to stay with OW 6/26
NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16
I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19