Coming Home

[mleigh4]

I feel like I have not been here in quite a while! I have been GAL in an exhausting way, but all good. Having lots of fun. The weather has been good, spring fever is in the air, and I have invitations to do things left and right. I have no complaints! A few "ouches", but no complaints.

Last weekend went out with friends and let loose a little more than normal since S was with H. When H dropped off S that Sunday, I was a little slower than normal, I could see H watching me. He mentioned that he called a guy about some lab puppies, watching my response. I just said, oh. Inside? ouch. This is not ending any time soon, is it guys? Ya, I think this is a long term separation. It's ok, I figured and really do expect and accept that.

H called me on Monday, had a last minute early morning meeting come up and asked if he could bring S home that night instead of have him over. Actually, he asked if I was going to be home to bring him. For some reason, that is strange to me, where else would I be at 9 on a work night? I hesitated a little, only because I was still catching up from the weekend. H asked me, why are you so tired?? I told him I just had a busy weekend, not enough rest. So he brought S home, and his long surfer hair was cut off. It had Grammy written all over it. I won't go into it other than once again, H and his mother made a decision I should have been part of, without me. And yes, Grammy cut it. S said he liked it, so I decided to do a 180. Normally I would have flipped out a bit. Instead, I sent H and Grammy a text, saying the shock has worn off, (they know I love his hair on the long side, but it's his hair!), and that they did a good job. Well, Grammy had to poke at me, calling his hair shaggy, saying this is better so he fits in (?) and saying it's time to get him back in swim lessons. I didn't bite, let it go. H didn't reply to her either.

Wednesday we met up for S open house at school. As we were leaving, H said why don't I get the little dog I have always wanted and he will take our lab. Ouch! I said no and gave him my sad face. He is obsessed with having a dog. Makes me sad, he must be feeling lonely? But also makes me feel good. If he was living the dream or had himself OW, I don't think he would care so much about having a dog.

Thursday I took the day off to chaperone a field trip with S. Had a blast! Such precious memories with him. After, we went to appt to renew his passport. After, we headed to H for drop off. H had a dentist appt by our house and had mentioned he would pick up dog. Instead, he asked me if I would go back and get her to bring with S. At first, I thought ok. Then I thought, NO! He has lost his privilege of asking me for favors. Some nerve I think. And S has told me he doesn't care if dog is with him at daddy's or not, plus, I can't get her in my truck. So when we pulled up, I could see him looking for her. He said, no dog? I just no, with a smile. This dog thing needs to stop. S and I have been forced to adjust to so many changes these last 2 years, now he wants to take our dog?

Enough. This is her home, which he chose to leave. His choice. He needs to get himself a dog. I am tired of the back and forth with her.

This weekend, I have S. We had friends over on Saturday, my girlfriend and her teenage daughter slept over. Got up and went to breakfast and then to local festival. S and I are exhausted! As soon as we got home, H texted asking if we wanted to go to Costco with him. S said no, and I agreed so I let H know we were pooped and how are weekend went. He was getting some stuff for us so I also let him know it could wait another week if he wanted to go next weekend. He said he would let me know, haven't heard back from him.

Hmmmm. I wonder if it bothers him, knowing we are having people over and not inviting him? The festival was literally down the street from him, but no, I didn't invite him to that either. As far as I am concerned, if he wanted to enjoy living life with S and I, he would not have left. I hope that is sinking in with him. We are living, having fun, moving on without him. His friends, our friends, are enjoying S and I, without him.

I don't mean to sound mean, but it's how I feel. Something tells me that is starting to sink in with him. I wonder where that will take him?