Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[25yearsmlc]

Btw - I have always been willing to follow H jobs around, it has been him that hasn't wanted the family near him. When the kids were babies we were living on East Coast and he was working on west coast for 2 years near several of my closest friends from university. I begged him to move there - wouldn't do it.

So in terms of your h's behavior and choices, this is Not really something new. It has been going on for most/all of the m. I can see how that would be devastating to realize, in retrospect. But you must have had some pay off for it to have worked for you for so long.

Anyhow, I think the "MLC" label is over used and misunderstood (i.e. many LBSers assume inaccurately that if it is anMLC it means they are more likely to return to the m, but there is no empirical data supporting that.

EVEN if there were, a hallmark of a true MLC is that the behaviors are NEW and "out of character" for the spouse.


Every job afar, I have offered and suggested as being a family unit is very important to me. I spent one summer looking at schools/houses in Amsterdam only to have him decide he didn't want to move us.

Yes it seems to be a pattern for him.


This is the first time that I am digging my heels in and saying I won't follow him to certain places, If kids were thru HS, I would follow him anywhere - I love a good adventure.

So in a way it's YOU that has changed the dynamic. And it's only b/c the kids are in HS, correct?



I now realise his lack of interest in having the family around is because it relinquishes him from emotional responsibility as he hides behind his corporate responsibilities.

I really don't believe the psycho analysis is helping you and it may not be accurate anyhow. It serves no good purpose imo. It's a blame game and it's ironic b/c for the length of your m, things were fine this way.

Is it the kids high school years AND OR his reluctance to commit to you, that is the problem?

Maybe the only issue is, what will YOU do, given that your h continues to want part time fatherhood?