Life can throw a lot of hurdles at us. How we handle them helps us to grow as individuals.
You should engage her in a friendly way, just not like a friend though. It should be more like someone you were introduced to who lives a thousand miles away. Be friendly, just don't share much information. Keep living your own life and be the best father to your children you can be.
She may seem happy now. Most times it is temporary and comes crashing down. I don't see most men who are in affairs with married women as looking for a long term relationship. Eventually he will move on. When he does, it is you w problem not yours. Don't be the shoulder for her to cry on when it happens.
You sound like you found a great therapist. Keep working on yourself. Keep seeking answers about who you are and who you want to become. Consider putting a plan together that will allow you to move on soon so you have your own place free of her at this point. I think no matter what, deep down her active affair while sharing the same house does dig at a person.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"