It's been two weeks...

[DifRent]

Yesterday was a mostly good, GAL sort of day. In the evening, W and I had plans to visit a few properties (for our business). Before she got home, I was out watering the garden and she had been calling. "Why don't you answer the phone?" she asked. I said, I was outside, didn't hear it. "No, I think you see my name and you don't pick up." Nevermind that she'd already called twice during the day and I did pick up...

We went to see the two properties, then she wanted to see a third. When I asked where it was and how much, it was clear this wasn't an investment property. "It's for a client." This client being the OW. I said clearly, "No, how disrespectful. We are going home now." She complied, but didn't think she'd done anything wrong. It was icy silence the rest of the way home.

I think my detachment has made her angry, actually. She was more adamant than ever last night that we are "over," and we need to start discussing how to move forward with separate lives. She has even rewritten our history to insist we never intended to live together for the rest of our lives. It wasn't a fight, but a heated discussion... after which she went upstairs to write an offer, and I went outside to call a friend. When I came back in, she was all sweet again, fluffing up a pillow and inviting me to sit beside her... until the OW called, and she went outside to talk.

I went to bed, and when she came in, she said she would go to church with me in the morning.

Here it is, the morning, and I really feel like my entire grasp of reality has been shaken. I wish I could get out right now and start over somewhere. I have moments when I'm not sure I want to start over with her, and those moments are becoming more frequent. Her heart is so cold, she isn't the woman I love.