Thank you Zeus, it is so sad. It is so difficult for me to understand how someone can tell you one minute they love you and how much you are appreciated, how much you give and do for your family and in a matter of a few month, you are the enemy, you're not even worth a text or a phone call. You basically no longer exist. It blows my mind!
Old Dog,
He has not yet dropped the bomb. I thought he was going to do it in April, when he sent me an email telling me he was going to call me next week because we had to "sort things out" but he never called.
I know I need to be ready with a conversation when he does finally make contact. I guess that's where a DB coach may be able to help, because I'm certainly not saying the right things even though I've tried many times in many different ways.
We went through a similar R crisis about 13 years ago when he went through a MLC. Had an EA with a woman he bought a restaurant with. The restaurant folded and the EA ended. It took us over 5 years to work through that sitch. I worked the original DB and am familiar with the program. But I don't think I did very well with boundaries. Allowed my H to take a job where he was traveling extensively for about 5 years after the restaurant went under and when that ended agreed to let him move to another state to take a job b/c I feared he would be resentful if I asked him not to take the job and stay.
Our current sitch seems to have started when he wanted to buy a house in the other state and I questioned the logic in that if his intent was to find another job and move back home. My understand when he took the job was that it was temporary until he could find something else. He said this was his dream job and he planned to stay another 5 years at least so he was sick of living in an apartment and wanted his own space.
I told him it made me nervous that he wasn't considering coming home for another 5 years he said what do you want me to do? I'm not giving up my job. What is the solution?
After that it gets even more complicated, but this is where I believe the original breakdown occurred.
Sorry, I kind of went on and on.
Any insights from a male perspective would be greatly appreciated. I know the job thing is super important to a male's respect level, etc.
