Teacher needs to become the pupil

[Painter]

I'm so very sorry to hear about your situation and that your children are involved and unhappy, too.

I know that my H didn't think his children would be upset - so he told his daughter (I have been my stepdaughter's mom for years) that we had a trial separation (not true), and my SD had a complete breakdown. They become complete narcissists when they are in this mode. Has your H moved out?

I am also very new to DB'ing, but I ran a stepfamily support board for many years, and the financial situation you describe, would make me run to an attorney to find out exactly what your rights and options are. Doesn't mean you have to do anything, but knowledge is power. I know that part of the reason my H put the brakes on and is now trying to work on our M with a DB counselor, is because I saw a very good attorney and told him what his situation would be if he decided to dump me. I told him very calmly, just like an FYI. It was quite the reality check for him, and pulled him back down on the ground.

This board has tons of great information. I have gotten a lot out of the pinned posts from the links in Cadet's welcome post. I keep revisiting the post so I can read the links over time, they take some time to digest.