Having a tough day. The more I get away from the bad stuff, the more my mind clears up. I was doing so well before we got back together. But my changes didn't hold, I went back to wanting to do everything for her. And I lied still. But deep down all I ever wanted was my family. I'm going to stay good, I'm going to stay away from the stuff that led me to here. The hardest thing is that I don't want to do it alone, I don't want to not have anyone to share with. But I know, deep down, that no matter what I say or do, my M is over. There is no fixing, no going back no nothing. It's either I start fresh, or let it consume me. The old relationship as it was, was terrible, no one was happy, no one was satisfied. We were just going through the motions.
