Wow Job, I'm new to posting and this thread really hit home for me. this is the game my H and I have been playing for years. We have a fight, my H quits talking to me. I beg him to talk and try to work things out. He gives me the silent treatment for a week or so. I back off a bit but continue to check in. Somehow, we get through it but nothing is ever really resolved. I'm always afraid he's going to leave because I've said the wrong thing. Consequently, I never ask for what I want for fear of anger or worst he'll leave me. And here I am, my worst fears are a reality.
It is so difficult for me to stop the pursuit. I feel like I'm being unloving. Everything you and others have said on this thread makes so much sense, yet, it's still very hard. I guess I haven't gotten to full detachment yet.
I am going to try to find the book you referenced and start to read it and learn some better techniques. Thank you for your advise.
