Well another week has passed, and boy things are still fast!
Hardly been apart, still freaked out in a way, I am worried about that honesty that I feel and other things might just be a reflection of what I'm sending out.
In some ways the old tapes keep surfacing and feeding those feelings of not being worthy of such a great r and such a sweet man. They are really tough to beat.
I do really really get how our husbands and wives get caught up in that affair glow and fantasy and how addictive that is. . Previously I didnt understandmthose who meet someone and move in same day. Seems I get that now!
There are just problems in my head, I keep thinking what ifs..... What if it get real? What if there are resentments that will surface..... And so the list goes on.
In other news s17 hates me. Not heard from him.
Xh2 is texting replies but wow the contrast is he sounds like a child. Lost and stupid. More L stuff for me to do. I haven't seen him and now I really don't want to or need to. Less so since the whole r started.
Not many know about the r, but those that do are stirring me quite a bit in a nice way and my friends.
Before I was freaked about introducing him to people and leaving that whole single life behind and having some dependency on a r. It that my single life was a huge social whirl but it was nice to get out and it was nice not to have to answer to and check with anyone... Just decided and go...I have come to the realisation I don't want to do half hearted on the r, so will just let it come out as it does along the way.
The brd he's been odd at work and the more I see of him at work the more I'm convinced I missed a bad deal there. He's a bit childish as well.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
