KGirl - letting the past go

[KGirl]

Hmm... where has the time gone? Not sure that this is the right place to post anymore, but restarting a thread elsewhere probably isn't helpful if I'm not going to post regularly

Things are practically wrapped up with the D. Still waiting to hear on the final mortgage refinancing stuff, but don't foresee that being an issue. Still a few things to go with the name change, which is going more smoothly than I expected. Yes, pretty much at every work event I go to someone asks if I got married. Someone actually asked if I got UNmarried. Or my poor college students who don't know any better will come in and say "You must have had a good semester - you got married, right?" Nope, sorry buddies. When I went back to work my coworkers threw me a "congratulations" party!! I wasn't feeling very congratulatory but hey, it's the thought that counts, and there were balloons, cake, and ice cream

Honestly, I'm so busy lately that there's very little time to think about XH and the D. My life is full but in a good way - I don't feel overwhelmed in a "I'm never going to get all this done so I'll sob in the corner" type of way, but rather a "wow, I've got so many things going on and so many people to be involved with!" type of way. So what's keeping me busy..
-still in the midst of planning two bridal showers. I refuse to play the D card on those and not let my friend and sister have their moment.
-I decided on MONDAY this week that I was going to Las Vegas NEXT week. Most spontaneous thing I've ever done (OK, so I had the week off for months in case I got my new driver's license and credit cards and all by then, but didn't actually decide until this week or book anything). Woohoo!

I've been on some dates! The first one ended up not panning out - I was interested but he was actually still in the process of D and said he was still really angry and had a lot of issues w/ his STBX watching his son regularly, selling his house, all of that. I think we all get that. Then I went on two dates with a different guy and after some hard thinking, realized it really wasn't clicking for me but I was hesistant to "end it" because someone actually LIKED me. And I felt like I couldn't do much better than that so I should take it. But then I realized that I can surely find someone that likes me AND I also like them, because of who they are, not just because they'll take me. So back to the drawing board on that, but there are lots of guys on OKC

I guess my summary is - for everyone that is in the middle of this process and doesn't see a way out, and feels terrible, and is super p*ssed at their STBX - there IS a way out. It WILL get better. Sometimes it just takes time. And having things be finalized so that there is some closure. And yes, not having kids makes it exponentially easier and I can't speak to that aspect of this, but I am quite sure you WILL feel better in time.