Make Love in the Middle of a Warzone

[Zues126]

Just remember that she's just as human as you are.

She goes to her IC and tells stories of ways you hurt her that make her IC cringe.

She retells of the times she was in anguish and wanted to turn to her spouse and was rejected night after night.

She retells how she tried to express her pain, that she was dying inside, that she couldn't live like this, and she was ignored.

She retells different scenarios when your lack of empathy, your need to be right at all costs, to frame things through your point of view while diminishing hers made her feel worthless for years.

And she retells the grieving she went through that the love of her life wouldn't love her back because that's how she felt, and how she feels betrayed by you that she was forced to pick between eternal abuse and the destruction of her family.

DON'T scorekeep. You don't want to go there. Everyone is right in their own eyes. Trust me, if you could see things through her eyes you might not see her as a crazy and vindictive superficial whimsical addict. You might see her as a mature and committed woman who's commitment caused her to endure more pain that most people would have put up with, so who was in fact wounded more deeply by the man who swore to love her than she could've imagined.

There's a lot of ways to rewrite history. What feels true to you is your point of view. Seeing beyond your point of view is growth. Let go of the scorecard and the labeling, just get past it. You are both flawed humans that have hurt each other and failed in a M. That's it. Focus on your half and try to get better, not on what your W does after she was squirming in so much pain she couldn't go on.

Not easy. I can still do this if I'm not careful. Just trying to keep it real.