Tonight I decided it's still early enough in all this that I can make some "intentional mistakes". Our discussion went ok. I learned that OM's wife now knows about the affair. I couldn't be happier. This adds another level to all this and puts another roadblock in their way. Now he will have to deal with that.
It could also lead to them both leaving and starting a new life together. If it happens, so be it. But they've only known each other 3 months so doing so would be pretty stupid.
Hello ralphy - I'm sorry you're here but I hope that you take the advice here to heart and come out better on the other side.
In any case, I wouldn't put too much stock in the OM's W. The OM is in the same position as your W then, and if I understand correctly, she isn't changing her behavior yet, right? It may be good, but there's also that sense of "forbiddenness" that has some appeal. I'm not saying it's definitely bad, but I wouldn't focus your energies on the A and the OM.
Now is the time to really worry about you. It's time to grow into the man only a fool would leave. The more you think about the OM and snoop and pry, the more she will be driven that way. Instead, reflect on YOU and make the changes in yourself that will turn you into a person your W wouldn't want to leave. But do it for you...with no expectation that she will actually stay.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey through this. Keep posting!
