I'm always on my phone so sometimes I have a hard time making sense/articulating what I want say and how I want it to come across. So I apologize in advance for that.
What I'm trying to convey is yes by all means be nice to Your W. I want you to be friendly. But there is a difference between friendly and behavior comes off as pursuing.
I'm far from a vet as I still have a lot to learn so please don't abide by my advice alone. Is there a happy medium? Is there a way to email W and say something along the lines of 'I Am not okay with you stepping out on our M. As long as you are in contact with OM I cannot be in your life as anymore than a coparent'
I don't know what you're trying to accomplish by inviting her out with the kids. I personally don't think it's the right decision. You're rewarding her bad behavior with treats of things you did in the past. you're letting her know it's okay to have OM in her life and break up her family but you guys will still get together as a family. Sure down the line if this ends up in a D you want to do things for the kids but right now she needs a taste of what her decisions will change her life to be like.
