Someone, tell me what this looks like to you, please:
I'm getting reports that STBX is now a gym rat, and driving around like it is his job. As if it wasn't just two months ago, he claimed he had no ability to do these kinds of things due to the accident he had years ago.
It's all so strange. Him trying to stay relevant to my friends and family through loving 'caring' texts about me (as he's actually cursing me out via text within the same hour), poking around the back of my home, scheduling random tours of my friends' workplace, being nasty to me, yanking my chain all the while over getting his things and signing the papers.
What is this!?
I feel so defrauded. Who was this person. I was closest to him and maybe that was the mounting tension over the last year of our M, I knew something wasn't adding up and I got so frustrated. During DR I blamed myself for my lack of empathy,criticism for the things he wasn't doing but was capable of - but I think my gut knew he was trying to play me. The more resistant I got, the more I pointed out the inconsistencies - the more he pushed me away. There was a lot of emotional abuse, him all the time psycho-analyzing, just being hurtful about things, hinting at suicide if I didn't play caretaker.
In July last year in my journal, I wrote that the driving thing, the helplessness, the increased dependency as well as the coldness/disrespect, that I felt it was all building for his move for a D. I wrote about how used I was feeling, even then.
I wasn't wrong. He just wasn't happy, for years. Even before we were M he would throw our R up as something we should end if there was any conflict. I wish I'd not have made so many excuses. Oh, he just said it out of anger. He loves me as much as I love him.
Why won't he move forward on the D he drew up. Why do people do this when they have no desire for the M or person they left behind, it makes NO sense.
Why is he dragging this out??
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
