The Journey Continues: Wayward Wife & LRT (4)

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2. I don't think you should ask her what her plans are. It's weak to let her dictate the plan. IF you are going to spend time together (and why not take more of her time with your children) then come up with an idea that your wife can tag along to. Have her following YOUR lead (or not, her choice to tag along or not)

Thanks. Good advice, GB. IF STBX asks, I will say that the kids and I are headed to a local Green Market in the morning and she is welcome to join us if she wants to. If not, I will drop the kids off at her place when we are done.

3. I'd drop the ticked off attitude towards her. Your marriage is dying and your wife is off in wayward la la land. If there is any hope for your marriage you need to be that lighthouse for her guiding her back to the marriage. Sure, she may not come back but you really don't know if she's seeing OM or just talking to him a bit on the phone. Being snippy with her only helps her justify and rationalize divorcing you and feeling OK about that decision. She said she was having second thoughts. Some way wards just say that and do nothing whereas others actually begin down a slow painful path towards recovery. You don't know but being a great guy is what you are better at. It's more attractive and more likely to make her think harder about what she's doing...MAYBE....no expectations.

Is it that obvious? I know I was being stern on here but I had hoped that it didn't translate in my conversations with STBX. But, I'm sure it did slip in a bit. Anything that stood out to you so I can correct it immediately going forward?

4. OM's wife: Text "Sorry for bothering you again. I know they probably told you I was this angry vindictive and maybe even abusive husband that your husband just had to support my wife in leaving but please understand that people in affairs ALL say that. It's a lie. I am not abusive or controlling in the least. I simply love my family and I'm fighting for my marriage. You say you just want to "move on" and I wish it were that easy. Neither of us can do that if they are continuing their affair. The reality of the situation is we need to work together just a little to make sure neither of us are getting played. I'd simply like to speak with you to confirm some information and compare notes as I don't trust sending texts because I can't be sure it is you receiving it. If you are uncomfortable about this maybe three way in your mother or sister and we can all help make some sense of this situation."

This whole situation is troubling. Why would OM's W reach out only to go back into hiding? I'm worried about sending such a long and detailed text especially based on her lack of response in the past and not knowing who really is sending the texts. However, I feel like OM's W could really be instrumental in destroying the A because it looks like OM isn't heading down the D path in his own MR.