This is tougher than I imagined..

[Cherry]

I was his first, but he wasn't mine- I'd had a couple of partners before him.. It does feel intrusive as you say how you have your last first kid and yada yada, but I can say that and he can't. When I expressed this to him- he just dismisses that the A meant nothing so that still stands. I think he does need to do some growing up. He says he can't cope with the guilt he feels that he's been the man he always hated and how he has hurt me. But talk is cheap and he does need to find a way to address this productively.