Lynn - I'm sorry that you're in this position. There's nothing that anyone here can say that will make it any easier to watch your H go out to see another woman. Just remember that his actions aren't about YOU. He is just as confused and scared and hurt as you are and is trying to find his own way.
The best advice I can give is to use this time to focus on yourself - to discover the things you like and don't like about who you are now and to implement improvements to make you who you want to be. You can become the best version of you possible. That doesn't take the hurt away immediately, but as you feel better about yourself, you realize that you don't need your H to make you feel happiness any more.
Also, it's important to remember that this whole process is a LONG one. Your M didn't get to this point in a couple weeks/months - it won't get "fixed" in a couple weeks/months. So there will be good days and bad days, ups and downs. But if you can stay the course and trust in the process, you'll find happiness and peace in the end...with or without your H.
