I won't give up III

[Notlikingthis]

Hi all,

I spent 3 glorious days away from here a few weeks ago. I took advantage of just about every option they had at the spa!! It seems like forever ago now but I plan on taking a gf with me next time. She is recovering from surgery and could use a pick me up and some pampering. I stopped in to visit her on my way back home. I hadn't seen her in 2 years so we caught up drank wine and laughed until our faces hurt.

I'm back into the swing of things but regretting that I've gotten myself involved in so many gal activities. Having too many commitments is starting to stress me out. My gardens have been neglected for far too long. It's something that I enjoy and is not only relaxing but therapeutic. I talked to the neighbor's sons and they said that they'd be more than happy to come and do some of the heavier work. I have a few things that I've had in pots for years that need to be planted in the yard. One is an olive tree that I don't want to lose. It may not make it if I transplant it right now but I will lose it for sure if I don't. Too much to do and so little time!

I'm pretty tired of all of the d nonsense. My h hasn't been one to spew but since his decision to go through with the d he's been less than patient with the process. He assumed we'd be d within 90 days of when he served me the papers. I told him that my attorney was going to have to review the "post nuptial" agreement that has now become the basis for the d. He agreed that we needed to be careful and he was willing to wait for my attorney to review. My attorney has taken more time than my h thinks he should be taking. He suggested that I was dragging it out intentionally. He was more accusatory than necessary saying that if he found out that I was doing so that...blah, blah, blah. A few weeks ago he accused me of telling his parents what was going on and used the exact same words. For me, that was crossing the line. Accusing me of lying??? I told him that the conversation was over and got up and left the room. He followed me and I told him that it was time for him to leave. He was dumbfounded. I rarely talk in that manner and he really was speechless for a moment. He started back-pedaling and said I misunderstood that he was talking about something else. I repeated what he said and reminded him that he said the same thing when he suggested that I'd been talking to his parents. He apologized and I told him that if I misunderstood what he said that I was sorry. I heard him loud and clear and there was no mistaking what he was saying. He called and left a message apologizing again after he got home and then again the following morning.

What's the hurry for him? Don't know and don't care. If I had to guess, my attorney has seen my h's pattern of behaviors over the past year and half. Separation, no separation, post nup agreement, cancel that. Oh wait, now it's back on and separation cancelled. He knows if he waits long enough my h will change his mind. I haven't asked him to drag this out at all. I just asked him to review the agreement and let me know if there are any legal issues that could arise from this type of agreement.

Maybe I'm just naïve but it seems that an agreement that keeps everything in both of our names and doesn't allow for any finances to be divided is probably not the norm in a d. Not only that, what happens if he gets legally involved with someone or if he creates a Will or Trust that leaves 401K's or IRA's or other financial accts to someone else. We still jointly own both houses although they have been quit claimed to each other and we're responsible for our own homes. We can't gift or transfer any assets to anyone other than each other or our children. We have to disclose ANY changes to each other immediately and numerous other limits to make sure that all stays status quo. Yeah, there is a substantial amount in joint assets but up till now he hasn't spent and continues to obsess about NOT spending. MLC craziness!!!

That's it for now. I am doing well considering the circumstances. Getting away helps a great deal. Keeping my distance from my h helped too.