From everything I understood about piecing , you are following the road. This is the hard part. You have anger, at someone who isn't there. It isn't going to come out unless you accept the feelings and express them.
Some ways of doing this are: Right a letter to her. In this letter say every thought that crosses your mind. How you felt then, what you think of her, how it affected you, how it makes you feel presently, and most of all how you feel about those feelings. Write what you want to happen from here on out. You don't have to mail it, matter of fact you could even have a private ceremony and burn it.
You have been through trauma, and the stress of him coming back while you are still dealing with it is incredible. IC is a huge help. Check into Gottman Institute trained professionals, they are all about working things out and preserving the marriage!
It isn't easy to accept infidelity . Forgiving it is even more difficult. Wrap it up in lies and you've one doozie of a project. If you can , try and step back . Close your eyes and think about if you were your own friend. What would [/i]you[i] say to yourself. How would you counsel yourself?
I hope some of the above is helpful. I do know not letting things out, is more detrimental. For it is coming out and creating tension. He is picking up on this and you are trying to keep it under control. That is what is causing the pain.
Hugs and a pump <3
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
